Maybe I'm Crazy

The personal wonderings of a middle-class, middle-aged woman in middle America.

Location: Columbus, Ohio, United States

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Remember the Titanic

TNT is showing Titanic this weekend. I haven't seen it in a few yearsbut I remember how good it actually was when it came out even though everyone was saying how Jim Cameron was making the worst film ever. Surprisingly, the film is standing up to time. But I still don't like Celine Dion!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Observations from Thanksgiving

1. Mom and Dad celebrated their 50 year wedding anniversary last year on November 26. This Thanksgiving, Mom complete forgot that this Sunday is their 51st wedding anniversary. Apparently, 50 years is enough and it's all downhill from there.

2. Thanksgiving dinner is no longer the scarf fest it used to be with one sister who lost over 70 lbs., another sister who had gastric by-pass surgery earlier this year and Mom watching what she is eating and losing weight and me starting to watch what I'm eating. It's just not the same.

3. The end of a Scrabble game is not the best time to get the Z tile.

4. Dad REALLY does not want to take a walk but we finally got him to walk to the corner, and not the one only one house away!

Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Things I like about me!

I will now list ten things I like about myself:

1. I have almost perfect eyebrows. Other people pay big bucks to have their eyebrows shaped, I just pluck the strays and white eyelashes.

2. I'm smart. Really, I am.

3. I actually get along with my family.

4. I have a good paying job.

5. I have my health, screw the depression.

6. My car starts when I turn the key

7. There's a roof over my head.

8. I can sing on key.
(okay, I'm slowing down here)
9. I like to help other people.

10. I have a great smile.


Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Sun Came Out!

For a few minutes anyway. The weather has been overcast and then raining for the past week. BUT the sun made an appearance for a couple of hours this afternoon. Then the rain came back. Boo.

Not to worry OSU-Michigan fans, it's just suppose to overcast on Saturday. I won't care because I'll be dry and drunk in a sportsbar.


Here's a Funny Post

I'm tired of writing downer posts, so here's a funny story:

Once upon a time there was a cat. His name was Tuck. Tuck was a very lazy cat. Tuck had a toy mouse to play with. Tuck would lay on his side and bat at the toy mouse until it was out of reach, then Tuck would roll over and watch TV.

Tuck's human got him one of those ferret-on-a-ball toys for him to play with. Tuck watched the ferret roll around, looked up at his human with pure derision and jumped up on the sofa to take a nap.

One day Tuck's human came home from work and stood at his empty food dish while talking on the phone.

Tuck sat down at his empty food dish and meowed loudly to tell his human that his food dish was empty, but his human kept talking on the phone.

Tuck tried walking between his empty food dish and the cabinet his food was stored in to show his human where to go to get food to put into his empty food dish, but his human kept talking on the phone.

Then Tuck gave his human a dirty look and ran into the living room. Tuck's human knew he wasn't giving up and looked around the corner to see what he was doing. Just then Tuck came back to the kitchen with his toy mouse in his mouth which he dropped into his empty food dish.

Tuck got a lotta food put into his dish right then and there.

The morale of the story, cats will always win in a battle of wills.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My therapist wants me to keep a diary of my feelings when I eat (remember, I'm really overweight). After just not doing it for the past month when I got the original assignment, I have resolved to be more responsible in becoming emotionally and physically healthier and will write something down after every meal. I promise not to post every one of them, but after writing this one down, I thought it would make a good post to share with anyone who comes by here to let you see the "real me."


Lunch: I wasn’t famished when I left to eat lunch at 12:10, but I was hungry. I ended up walking over to the re-opened Capital City Diner in the mall where I got a small grilled chicken breast salad for $2.95. My original plan was to come back to the office but I met up with P and she and I both ate our lunches at the Diner. It felt to me like our conversation was a little jilted, but we were both carried our part of the conversation.

Feelings: Well, I didn’t warm up the soup like I told B (does that make what I told him a lie – yeah) but I did have a healthy, inexpensive salad for lunch. Again, I didn’t feel particularly connected to P during lunch. I did make an effort and didn’t spin some sort of lie and tell her that I had other plans for lunch when I didn’t just in an effort to avoid her or anyone else (I wasn’t avoid just P).

Overall I’m feeling, well, not happy. I’m not particularly sad, I’m not angry, just blah. Of course the cool, overcast weather isn’t helping at all. Again, how am I going to make it through the entire winter when it hasn’t even started yet? [Read that last line with a panicked feeling]. There, that’s an emotion – I’m panicked that I’ll be sad, dark, morose, depressed, stuck in the bottom of a hole until next summer.

Does this really explain my feelings? Am I really trying to figure them out or is this just a bunch of words put down on paper (or computer screen). I am catching tendrils of emotions and then trying to pull them out into the open.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Another Performance

I'm stuck at work right now because I need to be at the theater at 6:30 for a 7:30 performance. This time around I'm a stagehand for "The Last Night of Ballyhoo." I don't know who at the theater company WANTED to do Ballyhoo and I don't know where the director came up with her casting, but the two together make for a VERY boring play. Both mothers of the college-age daughters are both in their 60's (and play it that old) along with the brother/brother-in-law. Luckily I don't have too much to do but it does get boring backstage. Oh how I want to be in front of the lights!

I'm going to take a notebook with me tonight and see if I can write down some stuff for this blog. Of course the theater doesn't have internet or wireless, so I won't even both taking my laptop.

I'm want to get more creative in my blogging - maybe by the end of the month I'll find a voice.

Ta Da!

Is there a way out of depression?

One day late for NABLAPOMO. Figures. Oh well, I'll do two today.

I attended a presentation at work a couple of weeks ago about dealing with stress that was put on by the company's EAP provider. One of her slides listed all the components of a major depression order. Even though I'm on medication and am in counseling (group & individual), every one of those issues is RIGHT THERE just waiting to pounce and knock me on my ass. This isn't coming out well, but I was was saddened by the presentation because it just confirmed what I've been thinking about for a few weeks - I'm still depressed, just covering it up better.

Example No. 1, I was late to work today for no better reason than I didn't want to get out of bed and get around. Just procastinated. It's been pointed out to me that this is passive/aggressive behavior. Maybe it is, but I've buried my true feelings so deep for so long that I can't even give you a reason why I'm passive/aggressive about work. I'll just have to keep delving into this conundrum to figure it out.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Almost 1 in 300,000,000

I like my name and I'm glad there are are so few of me out there - makes me feel special.
LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?