I've noticed that when I've gone to the grocery store I always bitch because I can walk out of the store with $25 of groceries in 10 bags. Is it a conspiracy by the supermarket chains (of which there are only three in Columbus (and no, I don't count Wal-Mart)) to make their customers think that they're getting sooooo many bags of groceries for the money? When I'm feeling particularly frisky, I try to instruct the high school baggers that they really can put more than one item in the bag and bread and potato chips in the same bag won't morph into some indescribable, indigestible mass of gross food product. Oh it feels so good to act so superior to those uneducated teenagers.

Today I went to Kohls to replace my walking shoes, get my fall purse and a couple pair of pants and dressier tops for work. After the cashier finished putting my (new) clothes and (new) purse in the bag, she then proceeded to stuff the (large) shoe box into the bag. I guess she saw my look of sarcastic incredulity because she offered to use two bags "if I want her to." I don't know, you've already scrunched everything into one bag after taking an exorbitant amount of time to take each piece of clothing off the hanger, hang the empty hanger on the proper rung, tell me how everything I chose was so pretty, and made sure that I really wanted size 10 shoes (no, I don't want size 10 shoes, but that's what fits me). Of course I told her (sarcastically) "no, that's okay."

You know, next time someone asks me what I'm good at, I can truthfully tell them that I have sarcasm down pat.

And no, I didn't sleep well last night....